Kip’s 25 Things

January 26, 2009 By Leave a Comment
  1. I have identical twin girls (2 years old) and a boy due in March
  2. I lived in Boston for about 10 years before moving back to the North Shore (Georgetown)
  3. I have an insatiable appetite for anything cooked on the grill
  4. Although my degree is in English Literature, I work as a developer/project manager of technology projects
  5. I have traveled throughout Europe several times
  6. I prefer to be outside as much as possible
  7. Val and I got engaged in Napa Valley
  8. I have over 20,000 mp3′s
  9. I love to cook and experiment with food
  10. I’m secretly a Mac fan
  11. I’m a facebook junkie
  12. I have a yellow lab, Preston, who was named after a wine
  13. I have 22 pairs of jeans
  14. I love the snow
  15. I have dance parties with my daughters who find me quite amusing
  16. I bark like a dog with Ava & Zoe: they bark back
  17. My daughters were 3 months premature and spent 93 days in the NICU – a life-changing experience
  18. I am Jason Bourne
  19. I blog: www.tubalub.com and www.kipdurney.com when I have time
  20. I love Web 2.0
  21. I bite my nails and my wife loves that
  22. I love yard work, shoveling snow, home improvement, creating, designing, reading, writing, and making people laugh
  23. I love gadgets… all of them
  24. Music is important in my life
  25. I love my wife
Filed Under: Huh??

Tosser

January 21, 2009 By 2 Comments

There are several skills that I’ve learned over the past several years as a direct result of having children: diaper changing, swaddling, bottle feeding two at once,  getting those little socks on their feet, and sleep sack tricks to keep them from becoming naked in their cribs.  But of all the things I’ve learned, there is one that I have inadvertently mastered. 

The Toss.

Yes, the Toss – the ability to throw objects from any angle to any target within 50 feet with grace and mastery.  It started off as a game with the kids but has quickly transformed into a necessity – a way to keep from collapsing in exhaustion after cleaning up for the 36th time today. 

Let me explain.  The playroom is often a complete disaster being littered with toys and tubes and blocks and babies and dolls and dogs.  Certainly not an easy path to navigate when you are still mastering the art of walking and running.  So when it’s time to clean-up, the receptacles for various items are not always close at hand and it’s just too much work much of the time to get up and get it.  So, what do you do? 

Toss it. 

I can easily toss 30-40 blocks into a bucket 12 feet away without a miss.  I can toss balls over my head into the plastic kitchen sink 9 feet away.  I can toss Patrick the dog, Dora the Explorer, and the half eaten farmer simultaneously through my legs to land sitting upright in their respective homes from 11 feet away.  And I can toss Preston’s toys that mysteriously find their way into the playroom back into his toy chest in the living room with my eyes closed, lefty, from 27 feet away. 

Impressive, for sure.

But my most favorite toss is the diaper toss – butts down.  Those smelly little bastards (the diapers) when rolled up into a solid pound of pure disgust, are not for the amateur tosser.  No, no, no… they are reserved for only the most talented and experienced of tossers.  A single miss can be disastrous.  Upon impact onto to the floor, a missed diaper toss can explode and disperse its contents in a very unpleasant manner. 

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.  I AM A PROFESSIONAL DIRTY DIAPER TOSSER ON A CLOSED CIRCUIT.

It is true:  I can score a DD with a hook shot from the playroom into the kitchen trash can (a good 18 feet) with the grace of Tiger Woods tee shot.  Truly an art in the making.

Gasp.

Filed Under: Huh??, Tubalub
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